who's best interest...

after an evening of canes, ncaa football 10, falling asleep in front of the Grammys emotions, winston and my electric blanket some things have entered my mind.... but front and center is the concept of "whos best interest"... whos best interest do you do what you do, whos best interest do you do what you do for who you love... who do you love?

i wake up at 8 on the weekends to feed/walk winston..... whos best interest??? Yes if i wait and not feed him he will go hungry, and probably make a mess in my room.... walking him is in his best interest yet is it to my benefit... it is okay to do something for yourself even when it benefits someone. its okay to do something for someone you love, even if it is not in your best interest.... did you know it is even okay to do something for someone you love if it doesnt benefit anyone directly and only puts a smile on their face.

it doesnt benefit me directly to lay with winston on the floor, roll around with him and play... actually it makes me tired and dirty.... yet the fact that winston receives the benefit, and joy makes it worth while.. yes he would be totally okay with out it, and most likely not think any different if i do it or not... yet the shear realization that i could make his mundane day brighten up for those 10 minutes is enough knowledge to push me to make time to make my doggie happy... yes winston is just a dog, and this story might blow right past certain people (some who need it the most).... yet it is something i think we should al reflect on....

who is the winston in your life.... what do you do that makes the one you love have that short burst of joy to remind them of your love and care for them.... what would you do to put a smile on the face of the one you love?????

for those of you who blow past this and think its just some girl stuck in a fantasy of "not going to happen".. ask yourself.... what does the one you love do for you??? does she take pictures for you, send you emails, watch shows you like, listen to music you like, or eat foods you love???? what does she do for you??? think harder. its there.

what about trust??? winston trusts me to open the door and let him out, he trusts when he comes back in after going potty he gets a biscuit, and on those days when im late coming home, or i feed him later then he wants, or he has to stay in the crate all day, i go out of my way to bring him with me or spend the rest of the evening with him to remind him that even though i let him down during the day, i still love him, im sorry and he can trust me.

no one is perfect all the time, what do you do for the one that is perfect for you.

yes i might just seem like a ranting bitch... however take a moment.. let it marinade.. who is the one you love, what do they do for you, what do you do for them.

i love you. goodnight.

to make me smile.

To watch someone experience the opportunity of a lifetime is a rewarding experience, to watch someone you love better themselves with unbelievable situations is amazing..... but to miss out on the one you love enjoying their life is a challenge. Not an impossible challenge, but a challenge all the same.

Its like they are still in reach, yet right out of your grasp, like no matter how hard you try, or the passion you have.. you always fall short. To blow your chance is a nightmare.

If you think communication within relationships is difficult.... You have no idea the strength and love you must have as a foundation to undergo the communication shift when the one who you tell everything to is 5,140 miles out of your reach.

Yes I rant, rave, brag, and bitch about everything.... however when I look at the bigger picture I see someone who has the opportunity to further his dream, a dream that he speaks so passionate of that he loses himself with in it (in a good way). Not only does this someone have every corner of my heart, but he actually wants to be with me! He loves me for more then others have before.... He talks with me about my dreams for the future with the same passion he speaks of his dreams with. He says he loves everything from my every changing hair, to my "special foot".. he loves being around me when I am happy, yet still wants to hold me when I am not. He is strong and hard headed... He doesn't let me get away with shit. He calls me out. He keeps me in check. He puts up with me. He keeps me grounded. He has my heart.

Does he really know how much he means to me? Does he feel the excitement and unexplainable joy that comes with every communication encounter? Does he realize how much power he has in the palm of his hand?

No matter what the past/present/ future situations bring there are somethings I cant help but feel. (in no order)... Love, passion, jealousy, stress, excitement, longing, trust, faith, fear, butterflies, devotion, friendship, delight, respect, envy, confidence, dependence, independence, protection, expectations, anxiety, and many more.

However one feeling not felt by me is doubt.

Doubt: lack of faith, conviction; questioning.

Doubt is one emotion that has escaped me... The question is, How do I remind you that I have no doubt , no questions about it? You say I need not doubt our relationship.... The one thing I escape from doing... Just because I love communicating with someone important to me doesn't imply I have a lack of faith or trust. It simply means I have something that makes me incredibly happy right in my grasp, yet not in my control.

I never want to hinder his experiences, yet how do I relay that I enjoy hearing every detail. Since I do not have the opportunity to spend 5 months in spain, I love to experience your amazing adventure from here. Never to check up, never to bug, never to annoy, but to share.

Sharing helps relationships grow. Sharing everything from dreams, fears, and secrets to a box of Mickey Dees chicken nuggets and a diet coke in the middle of the night.

For me to invite someone into my heart on this level is a compliment. It is the only present I have to give. Before last May I avoided every relationship with the most outrageous excuses, I was nervous to let someone in who I felt had no intentions of keeping my heart whole.

You allowed me to change my outlook on relationships, for the better. I am grateful.

I am Laura Deee. I am in love and emotional. I do stupid things, and say crazy things.. I am unique, quirky, and hard headed....

........ my only explanation is that I am head over heals for a guy...

(explanation, NOT excuse)

icecream sundays

i made a delish icecream sunday this evening and sliced up fresh strawberries and put them right on top.. it was amazing.

i got to talk to joseph this evening, i love him.

shopping today, shopping tomorrow... maybe the next day!

goodnight. godbless.

Wednesday

Good morning! Everyone is headed to Spain! Took Joseph to the airport yesterday, it was really hard for me, but I know he is going to have so much fun over there! I love you baby! So I have a day of shopping with Kristen! I love my sister.


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Location:Oak Alley Ln,Cypress,United States

So this is the new year

This is the new year. I am excited for all it has to bring.. Minus the 5months with out my amazing boyfriend....


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Location:Darby House St,Cypress,United States